birthdays, rum and cheaters (oh my!)

This weekend marked my 22nd year of life--celebrated with Brazilian barbeque (an interesting treat and, I gather, somewhat of a present for the boyfriend who picked it out as well--no judgment!), a gathering of friends in our homey new apartment, and a night out.

It was also marked by too much rum, scummy guys, and hurt feelings... (Luckily the douchey guy was not mine.)

I got to thinking...it seems like we go through our lives thinking that once we close one chapter (graduate from first grade, middle school, high school, college), another less complicated one is going to open up. Is that ever the case?

No matter how far away I get from seventh grade, or the skeezy guy who took me to my first high school homecoming dance, I continue to be whacked upside the head in surprise by the crappy things people do to the ones they claim (pretend?) to love.

I know married women who claim all men stray, that we, the doting women, have to let them do their thing and they'll be back. Excuse me--No. Is monogamy really so much to ask? Should any of us ever have to subject ourselves to that humiliation, particularly when others know what is going on, and you have no clue?

I guess I can't target this just at the boys. Everybody cheats, right? The NYTimes has a new Wife/Mother/Worker/Spy article written by a woman who cheats on online games. Obviously, that's not what I'm talking about, but, still, this quote seemed so relevant:

“It’s much easier to cheat when people don’t really know who you are.”

Isn't that the biggest thing? We're drawn to people who are enigmas--we can't figure them out and that mystery is oh-so-sexy. We want to be the one who's in, right? The one who gets to see that special part of them. But in an instant, you could suddenly be forced to realize you have no fucking clue who that person is at all.

Nothing can be worse than that feeling: the instant where you have discovered something that destroys your entire perception of a person in your life, someone you thought was one thing and now, you realize, they might as well be your worst enemy... because who else could hurt you like that?

It all leaves such a dirty taste in my mouth, and endless questions about the fate of relationships.
Other than that, my friends, my girls, my boy: Thank you for a lovely night. (Seriously!)