nyc etiquette: 5 unofficial tips to avoid getting your ass kicked

#1: If you are one of the 5 New Yorkers lucky enough to have any outdoor space to call your own (like the group chicks across the shaft who have a palatial terrace), you are already hated by your neighbors. Don't make it worse by hosting an after-after party at 5am, blasting lame music--unless you want a hit put on you.

#2: Alternate between giving way and holding your own on the sidewalk. If you're that D-bag who always runs into people half your size just because you can, you might be surprised to be blind-sided by a 5ft girl some day...soon.

#3: Don't wear crocs. Or tall socks with small shoes.

#4: Don't walk slowly in Whole Foods. This actually isn't a pet peeve of mine--but M almost got his ass kicked.

#5: If you're an unnecessary asshole (see #4) AND you're wearing a suit, you are obviously going home to an empty, lonely apartment, and there is no hope for you. :(

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