rid your inbox of spammers in 4 easy steps

Do you have trouble with "Real Life Spammers?" An RLS is an individual who insists on sending their entire email contact list inappropriate/annoying emails regarding shit you don't care about, not one of those email newsletters that gives you the option of clicking "unsubscribe." Get rid of them once and for all with these 4 easy steps.

Disclaimer: These steps are for RLSs with whom you wish to completely eradicate contact, although they may also work if the RLS is a close friend who will interpret these things as in-jest-yet-kinda-serious reactions.

Step 1: Kindly reply to the first instance of spam to the sender only, asking nicely to be removed from the email list. If the person does not respond, feel blessed. If they respond in a tiff, ignore them. Hopefully the contact will cease. If not, move on to..

Step 2: In the event of a second spam from the RLS, respond once again to the sender and, again, ask nicely to be removed. If the person does not respond, feel blessed. If they respond angrily, threatening that you're a miserable person, and/or send yet another spam, move on to...

Step 3: Reply-all to the RLS email, because this kind of person is definitely stupid enough not to BCC the email list. What you write here is up to your discretion, as it will undoubtedly be humiliating. A simple, "UNSUBSCRIBE" can be effective. For extra emphasis, try a sarcastic, "Who knew I signed up for spam and harrassment just by emailing -insert name here- once! Thanks so much!" If that still doesn't seem like enough...

Step 4: Add in some more contacts to the list when replying-all, like, say, the sender's boss--if they're emailing from work. I'm sure they'd be interested in what their employees were doing on the clock!

Caution: Step 4 will most likely not go over well with even the closest of friends.

That should do it! If you have any problems, do let me know..