fashionable things i find very unfashionable

I've been thinking these things for awhile now and kept them to myself because I assumed I was in the minority... but I just can't keep quiet any longer! I have questions, so many questions. Please, help me answer them.

1. Is this American Apparel or am I in a 80's nightmare?

I've never been a big fan of this hipster-basics-headquarters (and apparently I'm not the only one--rumor has it they may soon be facing bankruptcy), but I did think at least their v-necks were soft. Now that I walk past the store every single day to and from work, whenever I catch a glimpse of their window display I find myself thinking, WHY? Why God, why? What do people find alluring about this place? The excess of polyester pants? The ill-fitting "trendy" model tanks? The seersucker bloomers? I just don't get it. If they can't even make their mannequins look good, how is it a good idea for real life humans? And how are your legs not sweating?

2. LF Stores, can you please clean your room?

Again, a polyester war zone... this time reincarnated into my mother's worst nightmare--a habitually dirty room. Is it supposed to be exciting sifting through piles of crap strewn across tables and shoved into bookcases? Although it's initially tempting because every piece looks so fashion-blogger-cool, I suddenly realize this top I tugged out from underneath a pile of rumpled crap is a $110 polyester concoction that has likely played the role of a mop at some point. And another thing... if you weren't already suspicious enough, the fact that they mark the WHOLE ENTIRE store 60% off once a season means their mark-ups have to be out of this world.

I know I had other things to bring up, but they're escaping me at the moment. At least one person agrees with me on this AA thing--anyone else feel the same? What fashionable things make you crazy?

1. american apparel window display photo via upper west style

2. lf stores crapshow photo via i want you to know

but i dont WANT to be awkward anymore! a case study.

When a new trend appears, especially if it's something from decades past, I go through a series of stages quite predictably. First, I HATE IT. Then, my feelings neutralize. And, finally, one of three things happen....

I either:

a. want in on the trend desperately, suddenly, and irrationally

b. refuse to try it myself, even though I have fallen for it, or...

c. never get to the third stage at all and the ambivalence continues, indefinitely

I've been doing some soul searching into my intense reactions and, as I perused many a clog and overall online, I realized... maybe the answer lies in how I felt the first time 'round.

I mean, though I've come to Stage 3, part B [love it, but can't-quite-bring-myself-to-do-it] of the clog trend, I keep thinking about the cheap Candies clogs I rocked when I was 9-years-old. The kind with the stiff band across the toes and the heavy heels and the wooden footbed that rubbed my poor little toes raw.

And overalls, well... how can I allow myself to get back into one of those rough onesies? I was a walking conundrum, one buckle strapped and the other flying loose as I ran around in boys' tennis shoes, flashing playmates with the whims of my OshKosh denim skirtall.

Maybe if I'd been uber cool the first time around, without braces or just-permed-hair [why'd you let me do that, Mom?!], or if I hadn't been born yet and thus was oblivious to these potential disasters, maybe then I'd feel comfortable trying these things again as a 23-year-old. Maybe I wouldn't be worried about suddenly turning into an awkward pre-adolescent tomboy trying to figure out the whole fashion thing.

Alas, that's not the case, and I find myself watching the trends on grown-up-version of girls who bewitched my fourth-grade boyfriend. Fashion gods, give me the strength to break this nasty cycle!

1. meggstatus, the only girl i've ever seen pull off overalls

2. candies, the originals

3. mellow days overalls

4. megan roses, and her decidedly cool clogs

monday no-fun-day: i need a really long nap

wwwardrobe modeling what I felt like today

Today was one of those days where I probably should've just stayed in bed. For one thing, it's like Indian winter or something--this morning it was in the 40s and windy as all hell. I wore a sweater all day indoors and a leather jacket when I went outside! A few days ago, it was romper weather!

Anyway, in light of my bad mood I've decided to do a silly/cranky post, entitled...

Questions I'd like to ask strangers

a compilation of serious thoughts

1. Where are your pants?

2. What made you go with the handlebar mustache?

3. Why are you screaming/singing/laughing hysterically while sitting on the pot in the bathroom AT WORK? It is making me uncomfortable and will probably prompt me to flush a few extra times for emphasis.

4. What do you normally pay for plane tickets? [In response to someone being up in arms about Jetblue's $10 ticket deal turning out to be near $40 when including taxes. Hello! Someone's gotta pay for those free animal crackers, and I believe that's worth it.]

5. Seriously. Where. are. your. pants.

6. How cheap does cheap fashion need to get?! [In response to an H&M shopper debating if a piece of clothing was worth $8.]

7. Why are we in the elevator together pretending we're alone?

8. Why are you dressed exactly like your boyfriend?

9. Why are you and your wife talking about your affair at the table next to me?? It's making it really hard to concentrate on my beef basil.

10. I love your pants. Where can I find them??

Any questions you're dying to ask? I know I have many more...I need to start writing them down!

To leave you with a happy thought--I think my day might've been better if I'd started it out with one of these:

Perhaps tomorrow I will try it...